Amazing piece of writing, you really kept the suspense throughout the story. You clearly have more to go on this piece and it would be great to read some more.
You were asked for a new character, was that Charlie as you could of said how he fitted into the work.
Thank you,
I enjoyed writing it very much also, yes Charlie was my new character ( by the way she’s a girl) and she was standing next to the man in the comic.
I enjoyed it so much I mite post some more on this story, but knot yet.
Abi
What an experience for the characters in your continuation of the story. Charlie didn’t understand why they should leave until footprints set them running for their lives. You add a touch of suspense when we are left wondering if the characters will survive. Well done. 🙂
I liked your use of onomatopoeia (a word made to imitate a sound) when you used “plop” to describe the rain falling. Being able to build pictures in the minds of readers is an important writing skill. Your story shows me you understand the power of words. My favourite phrase was “we ran in unison”. Again, well done.
I hope you keep entering the 100WC so you can keep developing and sharing your writing skills.
Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia
Amazing piece of writing, you really kept the suspense throughout the story. You clearly have more to go on this piece and it would be great to read some more.
You were asked for a new character, was that Charlie as you could of said how he fitted into the work.
Well done great job.
Thank you,
I enjoyed writing it very much also, yes Charlie was my new character ( by the way she’s a girl) and she was standing next to the man in the comic.
I enjoyed it so much I mite post some more on this story, but knot yet.
Abi
Hello Abi,
What an experience for the characters in your continuation of the story. Charlie didn’t understand why they should leave until footprints set them running for their lives. You add a touch of suspense when we are left wondering if the characters will survive. Well done. 🙂
I liked your use of onomatopoeia (a word made to imitate a sound) when you used “plop” to describe the rain falling. Being able to build pictures in the minds of readers is an important writing skill. Your story shows me you understand the power of words. My favourite phrase was “we ran in unison”. Again, well done.
I hope you keep entering the 100WC so you can keep developing and sharing your writing skills.
Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia