Hi Ryan,
I know i’ve left but i’m still writing comments. Anyway, I like your pleasant chatty style. It works. This story reminds me of a time when my sister put a grape in the micro wave for and experiment. It totaly exploded. Then she did it three more times to see if it did the same thing.
To improve I thing you could use a bit more description. I would write another story because you’ve left this one on a clever cliff hanger. By the way, may I just ask, did your Mum really blow up your toaster? Keep blogging.
Well, my mum didn’t blow the toaster up, but she did burn the toast. I remember the kitchen and the dining room get really steamy and smelt sharply of burnt toast; how else can I explain it? We left the kitchen door open and dad had to lay the toast on the table on a plate.
Well, my mum didn’t blow the toaster up but she did burn the toast once and I remember the kitchen and the dining room was really smoky and smelt very sharply of burnt toast. So I think I got the idea of writing this story, before I made it sound more dramatic.
Hi Ryan,
I know i’ve left but i’m still writing comments. Anyway, I like your pleasant chatty style. It works. This story reminds me of a time when my sister put a grape in the micro wave for and experiment. It totaly exploded. Then she did it three more times to see if it did the same thing.
To improve I thing you could use a bit more description. I would write another story because you’ve left this one on a clever cliff hanger. By the way, may I just ask, did your Mum really blow up your toaster? Keep blogging.
Well, my mum didn’t blow the toaster up, but she did burn the toast. I remember the kitchen and the dining room get really steamy and smelt sharply of burnt toast; how else can I explain it? We left the kitchen door open and dad had to lay the toast on the table on a plate.
Well, my mum didn’t blow the toaster up but she did burn the toast once and I remember the kitchen and the dining room was really smoky and smelt very sharply of burnt toast. So I think I got the idea of writing this story, before I made it sound more dramatic.