Hi Rafi ,
:)very good story thing i agree with you
:)I like how you used ?!
:(Hopefully you will read this and realize how important and life -depending school is. doesn’t make sense
so very good
Jesse
Rafi this is a very heartfelt piece of writing. I can tell you feel passionate about this subject and your work reflects this. I love the rhetorical question you have used. I also think it is important to suggest a way to solve the problem you are writing about and you have done this towards the end. Well done. I agree with what you have written and think you presented your case very well indeed.
Mrs Prior – Team 100wc
mapleclassgreenfields.blogspot.com
Hi Rafi, this blog was influential, cunning and I am sure it will teach people a lot. However, you did try to make a point somewhere in the post, about how one half of the population get an education whilst the others have to earn a living selling snacks at the age of 4- this is not exactly true. Just because the things we know about Africa and other poor countries are terrible and hurtful, some parts of those countries could have a great education. Some families can live without having to sell snacks at the age of 4, but I see how you are trying to get your important point across to your post readers. You need proof to back up information such as what you have written. I would also like to see more of those fanatical words you usually use in your other, more creative posts. I do like the way you open up the start of the post with your own opinion. One of your last sentences was ‘Not only that, but school leads to a job, university and an understanding of life’, I like this sentence because it kind of finishes off your knowledge of schooling, I myself wrote a similar sentence on the same subject: If we didn’t go to school, we would never learn to read, write or communicate. But I don’t kno why, on the last sentence, you added a hyphen in between life and depending. That was the only part of the post that confused me. Otherwise, you put an awful lot of effort into stringing this life-changing post together. As my mum always says, “LESS IS MORE”.
Hi Rafi ,
:)very good story thing i agree with you
:)I like how you used ?!
:(Hopefully you will read this and realize how important and life -depending school is. doesn’t make sense
so very good
Jesse
Rafi this is a very heartfelt piece of writing. I can tell you feel passionate about this subject and your work reflects this. I love the rhetorical question you have used. I also think it is important to suggest a way to solve the problem you are writing about and you have done this towards the end. Well done. I agree with what you have written and think you presented your case very well indeed.
Mrs Prior – Team 100wc
mapleclassgreenfields.blogspot.com
Well done Rafi. I like the way you end with a challenge to the reader to think about the importance of education.
Hi Rafi, this blog was influential, cunning and I am sure it will teach people a lot. However, you did try to make a point somewhere in the post, about how one half of the population get an education whilst the others have to earn a living selling snacks at the age of 4- this is not exactly true. Just because the things we know about Africa and other poor countries are terrible and hurtful, some parts of those countries could have a great education. Some families can live without having to sell snacks at the age of 4, but I see how you are trying to get your important point across to your post readers. You need proof to back up information such as what you have written. I would also like to see more of those fanatical words you usually use in your other, more creative posts. I do like the way you open up the start of the post with your own opinion. One of your last sentences was ‘Not only that, but school leads to a job, university and an understanding of life’, I like this sentence because it kind of finishes off your knowledge of schooling, I myself wrote a similar sentence on the same subject: If we didn’t go to school, we would never learn to read, write or communicate. But I don’t kno why, on the last sentence, you added a hyphen in between life and depending. That was the only part of the post that confused me. Otherwise, you put an awful lot of effort into stringing this life-changing post together. As my mum always says, “LESS IS MORE”.