Hi Jess,
I LOVE the work and detail in this masterpeice of description. The words made fireworks in my mouth just thinking of ‘my weird yet scrumptious sundae’. I like the words ‘a creamy delight filled with blackberries, raspberries and more’ because they make you think of creamy delights. But then on the other hand I realy like the simplisity of the phrases ‘No ice-cream sundae is a proper sundae without a classic, so I scoop on some vanilla ice-cream too’ and ‘This was no ordinary ice-cream, it was my ice-cream”. Great work all round. One thing would be though is to explain the task this week in the 100 wc. You may know what it is. But your audience doesn’t. Keep the great work up. Actualy I shouldn’t even say that, I know you will.
Hi Jessica,
‘My dream sundae’ is a really descriptive and delicous piece of writing.Just reading it makes me hungry.It is oozing with adjectives , too.I love the line ‘It was no ordinary ice cream.It was my ice cream.’ Keep the good work up!!
From Emily.A
Hi Jess,
I LOVE the work and detail in this masterpeice of description. The words made fireworks in my mouth just thinking of ‘my weird yet scrumptious sundae’. I like the words ‘a creamy delight filled with blackberries, raspberries and more’ because they make you think of creamy delights. But then on the other hand I realy like the simplisity of the phrases ‘No ice-cream sundae is a proper sundae without a classic, so I scoop on some vanilla ice-cream too’ and ‘This was no ordinary ice-cream, it was my ice-cream”. Great work all round. One thing would be though is to explain the task this week in the 100 wc. You may know what it is. But your audience doesn’t. Keep the great work up. Actualy I shouldn’t even say that, I know you will.
Grace
it was very good i like the how you wrote all the flavors it made me hungry
Hi Jessica,
‘My dream sundae’ is a really descriptive and delicous piece of writing.Just reading it makes me hungry.It is oozing with adjectives , too.I love the line ‘It was no ordinary ice cream.It was my ice cream.’ Keep the good work up!!
From Emily.A