William, thank you for entering the 100Wc and I am sorry that it has taken me a long time to comment.
I enjoyed seeing your skills as a writer especially the simile ‘as lucky as the richest man in the world.’ I can see that you want to add excitement into your story but take care with too many apostrophes – choosing exciting words will make your writing more exciting, not more punctuation.
The Romans of Doom sound terrible and frightening. I loved the name!
I hope that I come across your writing again when I add comments for the 100WC. I really enjoyed reading this.
William, thank you for entering the 100Wc and I am sorry that it has taken me a long time to comment.
I enjoyed seeing your skills as a writer especially the simile ‘as lucky as the richest man in the world.’ I can see that you want to add excitement into your story but take care with too many apostrophes – choosing exciting words will make your writing more exciting, not more punctuation.
The Romans of Doom sound terrible and frightening. I loved the name!
I hope that I come across your writing again when I add comments for the 100WC. I really enjoyed reading this.