A day in Paris

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7 Responses to A day in Paris

  1. Ida says:

    It was really good you really discribed you could improve a bit about paris because it was not really in paris.WELL DONE!

  2. lulu says:

    I think your paragraph was very exiting to read and you put a lot of info in and showed how exited you where.
    You explained the preasnt box and what it looked like and what your new doll looked like.It was very intresting to read well done!!!

  3. Ryan says:

    Wow! The story was really good. Where do you get all these words? No offence but you need a capital “i” after “before”. Don’t forget full stops.

  4. Mrs. Pheasey (Team 100WC) says:

    Hi Laila,
    Wow! What a lovely descriptive piece of writing. You have made some lovely word choices and used the 100WC prompts really well. You brilliantly describe things using two adjectives, for example you used the adjectives ‘violet’ and ‘silk’ to describe the ribbon. My wish for you today is to place a comma between the two adjectives. Read through your work and see where else you can do this.

  5. Lauren (Saint John Vianney) says:

    Wow! this was a real good story! You were very specific with details! It was a good piece to read!

  6. Abby P. (St.John Vianney) says:

    Wow! This story was really good! I really enjoyed reading it and its very exciting.

  7. Sophie W. (St. John Vianney says:

    Very nice story. I liked it. That would be a good birthday.

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