Hi Alfie – like your Swedish Grandmother, I really wanted to know what happened next – did you get the monkey? I wonder if it was too expensive, or maybe it’d prefer to be free in the jungle! You used the prompt in a really interesting and unusual way, really grabbing the reader’s attention straight away.
A couple of things to think about:
– Remember the difference between ‘wondering’ (thinking about) and ‘wandering’ (walking around).
– Think about your punctuation – you used speech marks well, but is there any other bits of punctuation you’ve missed?
Alfie,
I really liked your story it was fabulous
But like your Swedish grandmother did you get the monkey?
And what happens next?
Otherwise it was brilliant and please keep blogging.
Very nice story because I wanted to carry on reading it before I got to the end and I liked the finishing sentence “It was a MONKEY!”.
Thats really good Alfie! Like your granny I especially like your last few sentences. I also like how you said “Weird but Wonderfull”. Well Done!
That story was fun! I really want to read more about you and the monkey next!
Hi Alfie – like your Swedish Grandmother, I really wanted to know what happened next – did you get the monkey? I wonder if it was too expensive, or maybe it’d prefer to be free in the jungle! You used the prompt in a really interesting and unusual way, really grabbing the reader’s attention straight away.
A couple of things to think about:
– Remember the difference between ‘wondering’ (thinking about) and ‘wandering’ (walking around).
– Think about your punctuation – you used speech marks well, but is there any other bits of punctuation you’ve missed?
A really interesting 100wc! Keep on blogging, Alfie!
Mr K 🙂
http://www.ashclassgreenfields.blogspot.com
Alfie,
I really liked your story it was fabulous
But like your Swedish grandmother did you get the monkey?
And what happens next?
Otherwise it was brilliant and please keep blogging.
Good description Alfie, I like the way you described the man popping out from nowhere in a split second.
Wow Alfie, I loved all the description, especially ‘the man popped out of nowhere’. What inspired you to write this? Has it happened to you before?