Hi Alex & thanks for entering the 100wc this week. I wonder who, or what, B.O.B is?!? You’ve used the prompt imaginatively and have also got some great language into your piece – I especially liked ‘questioned the shady figure’.
You are a good writer, but you might want to think about a couple of things which might help you to become even better. Don’t try to squeeze too many ideas into your 100 words – did you need the wacky Mickey Mouse idea at the end? It might have been more effective to describe this mysterious figure (without giving too much away) – this leaves your reader dying to find out more! Also have a close check of your punctuation – can you spot any area where you might improve this?
Hi Alex & thanks for entering the 100wc this week. I wonder who, or what, B.O.B is?!? You’ve used the prompt imaginatively and have also got some great language into your piece – I especially liked ‘questioned the shady figure’.
You are a good writer, but you might want to think about a couple of things which might help you to become even better. Don’t try to squeeze too many ideas into your 100 words – did you need the wacky Mickey Mouse idea at the end? It might have been more effective to describe this mysterious figure (without giving too much away) – this leaves your reader dying to find out more! Also have a close check of your punctuation – can you spot any area where you might improve this?
Well done for your 100wc – and keep blogging!
Mr K 🙂
http://www.ashclassgreenfields.blogspot.com