Hi Hope,
The thing I like most about your work, even more than your amazing description and set up is your cheeky, chatty format when you are writing. You have such spite (in a good way) and emotions that come out in your writing. Anyway, that teaches you to tease. Check your grammer is the one thing you have to do. Well done for a great peice of work.
Oh Hope! this is fabulous! I did laugh! What do they say about teasers? You have written a super story here which has really engaged your readers. I’m very pleased that you shared it on the 100WC!
Wow! Hope you 100WC was brilliant because you put the prompt in bold so that you can tell that you had used the prompt. I also like the punctuation that you used like ellipses and explanation. Well done! Remember to put ‘I’ in capitals well done hope I really enjoyed reading your 100Wc.
keep doing the 100Wc
from Hannah at High LAWN
Happy Easter Hope, what a cunning plan…I might have to do that next year…
You have managed to fit a lot of story and humour into this 100WC. You included some lovely language and used capital letters to good effect. Next step is to take care with your sentence length, remember short sentences can be just as powerful than long. Thanks for making me laugh and keep up the good work.
hope
i never knew you could be so amazing when you write.It was so funny the way you just exploded(in a way) when the bunny was found melted in the sun.It slightly reminded me of when Jamie (my brother) had greedily finished all his halaween sweets but I still had mine, unfortunatly, his greed worked as mine started getting mouldy! URGG!anyway back to your story. Maybe you could have told us where you put the rabbit so the audians would know that your rabbit was going to melt.if you wanted to segulize it you could have Jem decide to tease you and it go wrong!Keep up the great work
Elena
Hi Hope,
The thing I like most about your work, even more than your amazing description and set up is your cheeky, chatty format when you are writing. You have such spite (in a good way) and emotions that come out in your writing. Anyway, that teaches you to tease. Check your grammer is the one thing you have to do. Well done for a great peice of work.
Oh Hope! this is fabulous! I did laugh! What do they say about teasers? You have written a super story here which has really engaged your readers. I’m very pleased that you shared it on the 100WC!
Wow! Hope you 100WC was brilliant because you put the prompt in bold so that you can tell that you had used the prompt. I also like the punctuation that you used like ellipses and explanation. Well done! Remember to put ‘I’ in capitals well done hope I really enjoyed reading your 100Wc.
keep doing the 100Wc
from Hannah at High LAWN
Happy Easter Hope, what a cunning plan…I might have to do that next year…
You have managed to fit a lot of story and humour into this 100WC. You included some lovely language and used capital letters to good effect. Next step is to take care with your sentence length, remember short sentences can be just as powerful than long. Thanks for making me laugh and keep up the good work.
Your story is amazing I love the way you did the description.You could improve by doing some more punctuation.
hope
i never knew you could be so amazing when you write.It was so funny the way you just exploded(in a way) when the bunny was found melted in the sun.It slightly reminded me of when Jamie (my brother) had greedily finished all his halaween sweets but I still had mine, unfortunatly, his greed worked as mine started getting mouldy! URGG!anyway back to your story. Maybe you could have told us where you put the rabbit so the audians would know that your rabbit was going to melt.if you wanted to segulize it you could have Jem decide to tease you and it go wrong!Keep up the great work
Elena