I thank both of you for your comments. I will try to answer your questions. Barney thought Eli was that person because Eli was the only other person with him on the island, therefore the person could not be anyone else. Next time I will try to explain better. Right, Alisa. I am just not very good at typing, I meant to say; “If they realize.” I should realy check next time. Thank you again.
I knew you ment “If they realize” Grace. I also liked how you wrote “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare yooooooooooooou” because that emphasizes how bootles Barney is speaking. (:
Grace, I really like all the description you put into this, especially “patronisingly”. I cannot think of a better word to use in that situation.
Two mistakes, one you put “If the did realize,” and two, you wrote “for the thousandth” without adding on “time”.
Apart from those bits, which are clearly mistakes, this is an amazing piece of writing which deserves to be read.
I thought your entry was amazing Grace. I thought you had brilliant words in there such as patronisingly and thriving. To improve maybe proofread it again because there were some mistakes like in the first sentence after; questioned for the 100th… add time to it. Your story reminds me a bit of a book I’ve read about a boy who gets marooned o an island and has to try to survive on the things there. Carry on the story because it’ll be GREAT!
I found it really good but you could have told the reader why Barney thought that Eli was the person.
Hi Grace, I think your work is realy good and descriptive, but you said “If the did realize” which doesn’t make sense. (;
I thank both of you for your comments. I will try to answer your questions. Barney thought Eli was that person because Eli was the only other person with him on the island, therefore the person could not be anyone else. Next time I will try to explain better. Right, Alisa. I am just not very good at typing, I meant to say; “If they realize.” I should realy check next time. Thank you again.
I knew you ment “If they realize” Grace. I also liked how you wrote “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare yooooooooooooou” because that emphasizes how bootles Barney is speaking. (:
Grace, I really like all the description you put into this, especially “patronisingly”. I cannot think of a better word to use in that situation.
Two mistakes, one you put “If the did realize,” and two, you wrote “for the thousandth” without adding on “time”.
Apart from those bits, which are clearly mistakes, this is an amazing piece of writing which deserves to be read.
I thought your entry was amazing Grace. I thought you had brilliant words in there such as patronisingly and thriving. To improve maybe proofread it again because there were some mistakes like in the first sentence after; questioned for the 100th… add time to it. Your story reminds me a bit of a book I’ve read about a boy who gets marooned o an island and has to try to survive on the things there. Carry on the story because it’ll be GREAT!