Hello,
what a wonderful 100 word challenge. I like how you have used lots of descriving words in your writing. Next time maybe you could choose a better sentance opener insted of and.
Good try!
From Chloe at High Lawn Primary School.
I think you did well you also inculded some funny bits like the fighting had to be cut down by a measly hour and you used some powerfull adjectives to describe well done
What an unusual storyline! It leaves me wondering if Hossaine is really experiencing what is happening or has a very active imagination to help pass the time in class. 🙂
This is very well written and has great descriptive words. The only suggestion I could make is to not start a sentence with “and”. “And” usually joins two sentences. Your wonderful story wouldn’t be changed if you removed “and” from the beginning of the two sentences.
With such a wonderful imagination, I hope you continue to enter the 100WC. Well done!
Hello,
what a wonderful 100 word challenge. I like how you have used lots of descriving words in your writing. Next time maybe you could choose a better sentance opener insted of and.
Good try!
From Chloe at High Lawn Primary School.
I think you did well you also inculded some funny bits like the fighting had to be cut down by a measly hour and you used some powerfull adjectives to describe well done
Hello Mia,
What an unusual storyline! It leaves me wondering if Hossaine is really experiencing what is happening or has a very active imagination to help pass the time in class. 🙂
This is very well written and has great descriptive words. The only suggestion I could make is to not start a sentence with “and”. “And” usually joins two sentences. Your wonderful story wouldn’t be changed if you removed “and” from the beginning of the two sentences.
With such a wonderful imagination, I hope you continue to enter the 100WC. Well done!
@RossMannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher, NSW, Australia
Wow Mia! This is probably the best 100WC i have ever read. Keep up the good work. 🙂
Mia your description is amazing and you, I can tell, have put in a lot of effort however when you say her sword use it doesn’t quite make sense.