Wow! This piece of writing really drew me in and didn’t want to stop reading it. The description was really good and I particularly liked ‘His eyes were as black as coal’. Please carry on blogging as it is a pleasure to read your work. What inspired you write about a lion and not annother different animal?
Hi Rafi,
When I write, I just close my eyes and an image comes to my head. I let it move and do whatever it wants to do, a bit like a video in my head. I just write about it after.
OMG! This post was mega! I have never seen anything so vivid and cruel and crashing! Although, I do not see how this relates to a description. Well done never the less.
Great work Jessica. I really liked your amazing descriptions to describe the cats legs,head and eyes. It put a clear picture in my head of what the cat looked like. Do you have a name for your cat?
This is a fantastic piece of descriptive writing. We read it together after watching the Night Zoo Keeper video and it has made my class really excited about doing this week’s challenge! We picked out lots of bits that we liked, including ‘ferocious’, ‘sparkled in the sunlight’, ‘devour’ and ‘the leaves rustled softly’. Well done!
Hi Jessica
So pleased you decided to contribute to this week’s ‘The Night Zookeeper’ 100WC prompt. We have just completed this project with Y5 and have started another one with Year 3 and 4, and they are loving it. Your story really captures the essence of The Night Zookeeper, it includes great vocabulary and descriptions and has the magic of an imaginary world – absolutely brilliant!
amazing the description had me on my seat especially his gold head was held high wonderful tension kept me interested
visit our schools post at http://www.st-peters-school.org.uk/
me and lewis really enjoyed your piece of writing we especially liked the bit ” Its gold head held high, and his silver legs sparkled in the sunlight.” your vocab, description and use of words were really good e.g, teeth as knives to DEVOUR rodents passing by.
From Josh and Lewis 🙂 greenfields chestnut
P.S we would not want to meet that cat in the dark.
Jasmine and Mathew from greenfields chestnut class says:
WOW! Are you sure that you are a girl from year 5? Well, if that is true, what a great writer you are! I am glad you entered this week because this makes the world see how great you are. I think I have seen someone from Tetherdown visit my blog too! UNBELIVABLE! STUNNING!
KEEP IT UP!
Emilia HIGH LAWN http://www.6d.highlawnprimary.net
WOW! This 100 WC is outstanding! I loved all of the great description that you have used like: ferousious, sliver legs sparkled, and many more! Well Done with this weeks 100 WC! Keep up the great writing!
From Megan at http://www.6d.highlawnprimary.net
Wow what amazing 100 wc . I loved it . It had fab wow words in it . You had a lot of description in it . It was a stunning 100 wc . Where do you get these ideas from . Well done keep the good work up . KEEP IT UP !!
Wow Jessica, what a wonderfully descriptive piece of writing. I was blown away by the way described the cat and how you gave us a great picture of what it looked like and you left us in no doubt as to what it was doing. I am glad I was not the ‘rodent that was passing by’. Congratulations.
Mr O’Dea
Assumption Catholic Primary School
Mandurah, Western Australia
Wow, that is amazing, It put an amazing picture of your animal in my head. Your name will deinately be on the front cover of an amazing book in the future. You will be an amazing writer if you keep writing like that. Well Done!
This is a really good entry! Make sure you read over your work so that you don’t miss out all of your commas and capital letters. Also, makesure at the begining of your paragraph makesure it is not one full sentence, makesure it is different sentence so you can take a breath. Well done! Keep up the good work! 🙂
visit our blog at http://www.6D.highlawnprimary.net
Hi Georgia,
Thank you for sending me some improvements, I always welcome them, but I don’t really see where you mean. My first sentence has a comma and isn’t that long, and I double checked my work and I couldn’t find a space where I hadn’t used a capital letter.
Thanks anyway,
Jessica
Hi Jessica this is stunning and I can’t believe it. I can imagine a really good picture in my head. I love your description of your 100 Word Challenge. I like the title ‘The King Of The Jungle.’ Well Done Jessica I d love to comment on your work Keep it up Jessica!
Come and visit our blog and comment on some work. http://www.6D. highlawnprimary.net
This piece of writing is AMAZING!!! Who ever wrote it is a true writer. It really drew me in although I think you could spare a few words for describing the kill. Well Done!! 🙂
Thank you for the comment. I try to fit in as much as possible in my 100 Word Challenges, but with the amount of description I used, it was really hard! Thanks anyway, Jessica 😀
Briliant use of adjectives. I don’t believe that you are in year 5, seriously? Great piece of work, better than mine! I like how you put ‘his surroundings were dark and bare’. It’s a really powerful sentence.
Wow! This piece of writing really drew me in and didn’t want to stop reading it. The description was really good and I particularly liked ‘His eyes were as black as coal’. Please carry on blogging as it is a pleasure to read your work. What inspired you write about a lion and not annother different animal?
Hi Rafi,
When I write, I just close my eyes and an image comes to my head. I let it move and do whatever it wants to do, a bit like a video in my head. I just write about it after.
OMG! This post was mega! I have never seen anything so vivid and cruel and crashing! Although, I do not see how this relates to a description. Well done never the less.
Great work Jessica. I really liked your amazing descriptions to describe the cats legs,head and eyes. It put a clear picture in my head of what the cat looked like. Do you have a name for your cat?
I like your adjectives and your description !!!
wow that was reall good i love your use of similes and amazing ajectives i thought that you described it really well i love it ☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺
This is a fantastic piece of descriptive writing. We read it together after watching the Night Zoo Keeper video and it has made my class really excited about doing this week’s challenge! We picked out lots of bits that we liked, including ‘ferocious’, ‘sparkled in the sunlight’, ‘devour’ and ‘the leaves rustled softly’. Well done!
Fantastic i love your adjectives !!
Wow- Thats amazing!!!! It’s got brilliant description and it really drew me in!
Hi Jessica
So pleased you decided to contribute to this week’s ‘The Night Zookeeper’ 100WC prompt. We have just completed this project with Y5 and have started another one with Year 3 and 4, and they are loving it. Your story really captures the essence of The Night Zookeeper, it includes great vocabulary and descriptions and has the magic of an imaginary world – absolutely brilliant!
WOW!!! I really think you put lots of description and I think you should of been showcased!
Thank you. I hope I am! 😀
amazing the description had me on my seat especially his gold head was held high wonderful tension kept me interested
visit our schools post at http://www.st-peters-school.org.uk/
It had great description, we liked using sharp teeth as knives
I (william) feel sorry for the rodent I hope the beast doesent come for my hamster
Well done Jessica
me and lewis really enjoyed your piece of writing we especially liked the bit ” Its gold head held high, and his silver legs sparkled in the sunlight.” your vocab, description and use of words were really good e.g, teeth as knives to DEVOUR rodents passing by.
From Josh and Lewis 🙂 greenfields chestnut
P.S we would not want to meet that cat in the dark.
That was descriptive, we liked the bit were you described the creature having ‘eyes as black as coal.’
Maybe next time you could put more descriptive words in.
WOW! Are you sure that you are a girl from year 5? Well, if that is true, what a great writer you are! I am glad you entered this week because this makes the world see how great you are. I think I have seen someone from Tetherdown visit my blog too! UNBELIVABLE! STUNNING!
KEEP IT UP!
Emilia HIGH LAWN
http://www.6d.highlawnprimary.net
You have certainly inspired me, along with many other young writers this week Jessica. You should be very proud of your work!
Night Zookeeper
http://www.nightzookeeper.com
WOW! This 100 WC is outstanding! I loved all of the great description that you have used like: ferousious, sliver legs sparkled, and many more! Well Done with this weeks 100 WC! Keep up the great writing!
From Megan at
http://www.6d.highlawnprimary.net
Wow what amazing 100 wc . I loved it . It had fab wow words in it . You had a lot of description in it . It was a stunning 100 wc . Where do you get these ideas from . Well done keep the good work up . KEEP IT UP !!
Wow Jessica, what a wonderfully descriptive piece of writing. I was blown away by the way described the cat and how you gave us a great picture of what it looked like and you left us in no doubt as to what it was doing. I am glad I was not the ‘rodent that was passing by’. Congratulations.
Mr O’Dea
Assumption Catholic Primary School
Mandurah, Western Australia
Wow, that is amazing, It put an amazing picture of your animal in my head. Your name will deinately be on the front cover of an amazing book in the future. You will be an amazing writer if you keep writing like that. Well Done!
This is a really good entry! Make sure you read over your work so that you don’t miss out all of your commas and capital letters. Also, makesure at the begining of your paragraph makesure it is not one full sentence, makesure it is different sentence so you can take a breath. Well done! Keep up the good work! 🙂
visit our blog at http://www.6D.highlawnprimary.net
Hi Georgia,
Thank you for sending me some improvements, I always welcome them, but I don’t really see where you mean. My first sentence has a comma and isn’t that long, and I double checked my work and I couldn’t find a space where I hadn’t used a capital letter.
Thanks anyway,
Jessica
Hi Jessica this is stunning and I can’t believe it. I can imagine a really good picture in my head. I love your description of your 100 Word Challenge. I like the title ‘The King Of The Jungle.’ Well Done Jessica I d love to comment on your work Keep it up Jessica!
Come and visit our blog and comment on some work.
http://www.6D. highlawnprimary.net
This piece of writing is AMAZING!!! Who ever wrote it is a true writer. It really drew me in although I think you could spare a few words for describing the kill. Well Done!! 🙂
Thank you for the comment. I try to fit in as much as possible in my 100 Word Challenges, but with the amount of description I used, it was really hard! Thanks anyway, Jessica 😀
Briliant use of adjectives. I don’t believe that you are in year 5, seriously? Great piece of work, better than mine! I like how you put ‘his surroundings were dark and bare’. It’s a really powerful sentence.
OMG I LUVED IT YOU ARE A VERY GOOD WRITER!
mate that is awesome i loved it you are defintly going to get a showcase for this
Hello Jessica,
On the 100WC Showcase, I see your school will now be working with the Night Zookeeper. Congratulations to you and your school.
@RossMannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher, NSW, Australia
A wonderful piece of writing. Congratulations Jessica (and your school). I saw you won on the 100w showcase. It’s well deserved.
That was a really good piece of writing. In 100 words that description blew us away.
Well done.
Wow! That is really good, I really loved the metaphors and similes. I think it ia AMAZING!
OMG i loved that is had so much description in that story and it was just amazing.