WOW!
This was so impressive Jake. It really planted a vivid picture in my mind as I read through your blog. However, maybe remember to not guild the lily. This means don’t over-describe something. For example: Don’t write… The immaculate, shiny car with clear, white windows was parked in the giant car park. Do write: The immaculate car with shiny windows lay parked in the car park.
Apart from that, everything was perfect so carry on blogging.
Hi Jake,
I loved this piece of work especially the description.
The only bit you could improve was the amount of description sometimes you have done a bit to much on the same object.
Raphael
P.S keep writing incredible comments.
WOW!
This was so impressive Jake. It really planted a vivid picture in my mind as I read through your blog. However, maybe remember to not guild the lily. This means don’t over-describe something. For example: Don’t write… The immaculate, shiny car with clear, white windows was parked in the giant car park. Do write: The immaculate car with shiny windows lay parked in the car park.
Apart from that, everything was perfect so carry on blogging.
Hi Jake,
I loved this piece of work especially the description.
The only bit you could improve was the amount of description sometimes you have done a bit to much on the same object.
Raphael
P.S keep writing incredible comments.