Hi, George. This is an interesting entry — full of excitement. But I got a little confused as to which beast you were writing about. Next time, try to make that part a little clearer, okay? I love your action, though, and you describe it very powerfully. Good Entry!
Hi George,
I really like all your adjectives and how you described the strange beasts claws as diamonds.
it’s very powerful because you said he had a big mouth for eating flies. After the strange beast smashed on the floor you should have a comma. It is very good.
Hi, George. This is an interesting entry — full of excitement. But I got a little confused as to which beast you were writing about. Next time, try to make that part a little clearer, okay? I love your action, though, and you describe it very powerfully. Good Entry!
Hi George,
I really like all your adjectives and how you described the strange beasts claws as diamonds.
it’s very powerful because you said he had a big mouth for eating flies. After the strange beast smashed on the floor you should have a comma. It is very good.