Raphael I really liked your 100wc. There is real tension and excitement, will you make it? Your descriptive writing is very impressive. You could add a few commas and check how to spell lava!
You have built up the suspense brilliantly, I’m feeling a bit apprehensive about what’s going to happen next! Some more punctuation would making it even more gripping.
Hi Raphael,
This was very good but you made a couple of punctuation and grammar mistakes. Remember to check your work.
From Rafi.
Raphael I really liked your 100wc. There is real tension and excitement, will you make it? Your descriptive writing is very impressive. You could add a few commas and check how to spell lava!
You have built up the suspense brilliantly, I’m feeling a bit apprehensive about what’s going to happen next! Some more punctuation would making it even more gripping.