Hi Joel,
This is a real horror story for the 100 word challenge! It really grips the reader’s attention You have used a great simile to describe the crocodile. May I suggest that you reread your story next time before submitting it – to check that it works chronologically. For instance, you wrote that they came out of the water – but then you wrote that the croc went into the water and caught Bob. Also the sentence beginning ‘Tim trips…’ doesn’t read properly. How do you think you can improve it? Good work.
Hi Joel,
This is a real horror story for the 100 word challenge! It really grips the reader’s attention You have used a great simile to describe the crocodile. May I suggest that you reread your story next time before submitting it – to check that it works chronologically. For instance, you wrote that they came out of the water – but then you wrote that the croc went into the water and caught Bob. Also the sentence beginning ‘Tim trips…’ doesn’t read properly. How do you think you can improve it? Good work.