the Dimonds and Jewls

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2 Responses to the Dimonds and Jewls

  1. Alex C says:

    Well done Liam, I really liked your piece of work but there are a few things that you should improve on

    1.’Tom’ is meant to be a capital letter not ‘tom’
    2. You spelt your title wrong when it is meant to be Diamonds and Jewels.
    3. I’m not sure if I said it or not, but ‘i’ is meant to be a capital
    so maybe you should check your work before you blog but otherwise,Well done

  2. Rafi says:

    Hello Liam,
    Here is what I really liked about your story:
    1. It had a great story line.
    2. You used some great time words.

    However, in your next blog you might want to improve on:
    1. Capitalising ‘I’
    2. Start a new line if someone new is speaking.
    3. If something belongs to somebody, use an apostrophe in their name, not a comma. For example: Instead of, Tom,s grandad was lovely. It should be, Tom’s grandad was lovely.

    Apart from that everything was fine so keep up the good work and carry on blogging.

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