Hi Thomas!
I really liked your story when it says ‘after a hard day at school’.
but in your second paragragh ,you wrote ’round the corner’ ,and the round should be around.
Hi Thomas,
I’m really exited what happens next in your story, you really got me intreaged but when you speak you only have to change line when another person speaks, so whrn you speak keep it on the same line. I like how you want the reader to read more, by leaving a aggghhh or something like that because you really want the reader to tern the page. And I like your deskription.
Thomas
It was very good as you used commas. You’ve certainly made me engaged by using great adverbs my favrouite is groan and the word sarcastic.
You should use full stops at the end of the sentance. Except for that very good.
Hi Tom,
Good peice of work I like how you thought about how that person would feel. But watch out for spelling and grammar mistakes
Hi Thomas!
I really liked your story when it says ‘after a hard day at school’.
but in your second paragragh ,you wrote ’round the corner’ ,and the round should be around.
Hi Thomas,
I’m really exited what happens next in your story, you really got me intreaged but when you speak you only have to change line when another person speaks, so whrn you speak keep it on the same line. I like how you want the reader to read more, by leaving a aggghhh or something like that because you really want the reader to tern the page. And I like your deskription.
Thomas
It was very good as you used commas. You’ve certainly made me engaged by using great adverbs my favrouite is groan and the word sarcastic.
You should use full stops at the end of the sentance. Except for that very good.