You have given a lot of details in your writing. I love the way you used dialogue and speech marks.
I really like your piece of writing, mabye just swap the “I yelled” to behind “Brilliant”. Over all… I really enjoyed it!
I really like how you made the five sentences into one massive story and I also like the excitement like when you fell into the sea.I suggest that you could make all you sentences like your third one? because all the other ones were quite short.
you gave realy good detail in your riting,it also gave good puncution,
nice one mate!
You have given a lot of detail and it was a very good story. Maybe next time you could do some similies.
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You have given a lot of details in your writing. I love the way you used dialogue and speech marks.
I really like your piece of writing, mabye just swap the “I yelled” to behind “Brilliant”. Over all… I really enjoyed it!
I really like how you made the five sentences into one massive story and I also like the excitement like when you fell into the sea.I suggest that you could make all you sentences like your third one? because all the other ones were quite short.
you gave realy good detail in your riting,it also gave good puncution,
nice one mate!
You have given a lot of detail and it was a very good story. Maybe next time you could do some similies.