Hi Mia,
This paragraph of description was great as it included the Five senses in numerous places and also had advanced adjectives included with in it. I think your next step is to probably keep the same pace of writing. For example: Instead of having one part packed with description but another with only a couple of similes, you should make it evenly descriptive. Another would to describe what I am trying to write is consistency but you might now get a bit confused. Anyway, keep up the good work and carry on blogging.
Hi Mia,
This paragraph of description was great as it included the Five senses in numerous places and also had advanced adjectives included with in it. I think your next step is to probably keep the same pace of writing. For example: Instead of having one part packed with description but another with only a couple of similes, you should make it evenly descriptive. Another would to describe what I am trying to write is consistency but you might now get a bit confused. Anyway, keep up the good work and carry on blogging.