Jack, your opening sentence is fabulous, letting me know as a reader that there was adventure ahead. I felt excited to read more. I love the different ways that you have started your sentences; this added interest. I also like your powerful verbs like ‘trudging’, ‘stretched’ and ‘blasted’ and you have skilfully used adjectives and adverbs to add great descriptions. Try to avoid non-descript words like ‘thingy’ though. Leaving the story on a cliff-hanger was a super idea, leaving me wanting to read on to the ‘next chapter.’
Thank you for sharing your fabulous story telling with the 100WC.
Jack, your opening sentence is fabulous, letting me know as a reader that there was adventure ahead. I felt excited to read more. I love the different ways that you have started your sentences; this added interest. I also like your powerful verbs like ‘trudging’, ‘stretched’ and ‘blasted’ and you have skilfully used adjectives and adverbs to add great descriptions. Try to avoid non-descript words like ‘thingy’ though. Leaving the story on a cliff-hanger was a super idea, leaving me wanting to read on to the ‘next chapter.’
Thank you for sharing your fabulous story telling with the 100WC.