I really like your story although I didn’t really understand some bits. My favorite part is where you said “The evil scientist cackled gleefully”. My one improvement would be that “The men lay still panting; being nothing felt weird,” doesn’t make sense because you said they were alive.
We liked your story our favouite sentence was the ”evil scientist cackled gleefully!”
We think you could add some connectives in.
Hi Holly,
I really like your story although I didn’t really understand some bits. My favorite part is where you said “The evil scientist cackled gleefully”. My one improvement would be that “The men lay still panting; being nothing felt weird,” doesn’t make sense because you said they were alive.