Hi
I thought it was really good because of all of the similes you used. I like the way you used bulging out at me. When you have finished you need to check for words you’ve missed out. After the word looked you’ve missed the word like also after the word bowl you’ve missed the word of.
Hi Rafi,
You have used some fantastic vocabulary in this piece of writing which makes the descriptions really detailed. I also like the fact that you have written it in the first person, it makes your writing more powerful.
Keep writing for the 100 Word Challenge.
Mrs Stones
Hi Rafi,
I love your piece of work because it has description, suspense and everything a good piece of work will need.
Hi
I thought it was really good because of all of the similes you used. I like the way you used bulging out at me. When you have finished you need to check for words you’ve missed out. After the word looked you’ve missed the word like also after the word bowl you’ve missed the word of.
Hi Rafi,
You have used some fantastic vocabulary in this piece of writing which makes the descriptions really detailed. I also like the fact that you have written it in the first person, it makes your writing more powerful.
Keep writing for the 100 Word Challenge.
Mrs Stones