Dear Loius B,
I really like the similies used in your peice of writing and the dialogue that you use. Next time you should use less ‘said’ and describe how you feel.
Isabella
Hi louis,
I like the bit when you said you sqeezed the cubb out of me. I diden’t get it when you shaked the box with something alive he should of got hurt but the rest of it was amazing:)
hi louis,
I Really like the similie of the cheetah and the funny bit at the end so it was a good peice of writing
From Thomas:)
Dear Loius B,
I really like the similies used in your peice of writing and the dialogue that you use. Next time you should use less ‘said’ and describe how you feel.
Isabella
Hey Louis
Like the story but could of used a bit more description
From Charlie 🙂
P.S Santas been on a diet, eh?
Hi Louis,
great discription and similes. Try to make your writing longer. 🙂
Hi louis,
I like the bit when you said you sqeezed the cubb out of me. I diden’t get it when you shaked the box with something alive he should of got hurt but the rest of it was amazing:)
Hi Louis,
I liked your story it was very funny well done!
🙂
Eusebi
hi louis,
good work it is funny i like it and lots of dialog keep it up 🙂
from julius