Hello Vassilis, thanks for sharing this on the 100WC. I liked your powerful verbs- they gave the reader a great sense of action and excitement (that is a real skill as I am NOT a football fan!) . This sentence : As Charlie was dribbling with the ball when he decided to take a shot at goal. doesnt quite make sense; have another look and see what you could do to improve it.
You are a super writer and I hope you keep on writing for the 100WC 🙂
Hi Vassilis. This was a really exciting description of the game and how the accident happened. You have made some excellent choices of vocabulary. Next time it would be great if you could show a range of punctuation as well. Thanks for sharing this on the 100 WC. I really enjoyed reading it.
Hi Vassilis,
I thought your work was really good but you could have put a few more powerful adjectives into it. For example: Instead of, Mum will be shocked… Mum will be horrified…
Hello Vassilis, thanks for sharing this on the 100WC. I liked your powerful verbs- they gave the reader a great sense of action and excitement (that is a real skill as I am NOT a football fan!) . This sentence : As Charlie was dribbling with the ball when he decided to take a shot at goal. doesnt quite make sense; have another look and see what you could do to improve it.
You are a super writer and I hope you keep on writing for the 100WC 🙂
Hi Vassilis. This was a really exciting description of the game and how the accident happened. You have made some excellent choices of vocabulary. Next time it would be great if you could show a range of punctuation as well. Thanks for sharing this on the 100 WC. I really enjoyed reading it.
Hi Vassilis,
I thought your work was really good but you could have put a few more powerful adjectives into it. For example: Instead of, Mum will be shocked… Mum will be horrified…