Hi Hope, this is a great piece of writing and I am so pleased that you have shared it on the 100WC. I wonder why the room was in such a wreck? I love the way you used a question in your writing.
“desperately I tried to gather every thing up and put them back in their original places but no matter how hard I tried the room still looked a mess.” This sentence is excellent, other than the missing pieces of punctuation; see if you can add them in!
Hi Hope. I enjoyed reading this story. You have used some great descriptions, such as ‘wide-eyed’ and ‘horrified’. You have also used a good range of openers and punctuation. I wonder whether you could find a good place to split this into two paragraphs?
Hi Hope, this is a great piece of writing and I am so pleased that you have shared it on the 100WC. I wonder why the room was in such a wreck? I love the way you used a question in your writing.
“desperately I tried to gather every thing up and put them back in their original places but no matter how hard I tried the room still looked a mess.” This sentence is excellent, other than the missing pieces of punctuation; see if you can add them in!
Hi Hope. I enjoyed reading this story. You have used some great descriptions, such as ‘wide-eyed’ and ‘horrified’. You have also used a good range of openers and punctuation. I wonder whether you could find a good place to split this into two paragraphs?
Hi Hope ,it’s Sophie, I realy liked your story and all the intresting words you used but maby check your punctuation