Hi Dilan,
I really like your work because there is lots of susupense and you make the reader really want to know what happens next. Next time you should describe teh purple creature more and maybe what it was doing.
Isabella
hi dilan,
i really like your adverbs and verbs.
i like how in your story you met with the zoo keeper.
you can improve by describing the creature more such
as what it looks like
Cleo
Hi dilan,
Wow! You have done a great peice of work however, I think your writing could be better if you had added more description on certain sections like the creature and the zoo keeper.
From Rosie.
Well Done Dilan
You had lots of description in this but maybe next time you could put more about the purple animal
Hi Dilan,
I really like your work because there is lots of susupense and you make the reader really want to know what happens next. Next time you should describe teh purple creature more and maybe what it was doing.
Isabella
I like the build up of the story and the use of elipsis however you could of used more adjectives to make the story more effective
Dilan,
Amazing piece of work! You should describe the creature more. Hope you carry on because it is really good.
Ava
Hey Dilan,
good story but perhaps you could put more description about the purple monster.
Alex
Hi Dilan,
that is a great piece of work but I think you could put a bit more info about the creature.
hi dilan,
i really like your adverbs and verbs.
i like how in your story you met with the zoo keeper.
you can improve by describing the creature more such
as what it looks like
Cleo
hi dilan
I like your post because you made it so you didn’t know what was going to happen next.
eve
I like it because it is a nice build up to the final thing!
Hi dilan,
Wow! You have done a great peice of work however, I think your writing could be better if you had added more description on certain sections like the creature and the zoo keeper.
From Rosie.