wow emma, that was awesome! some of the story din’t keep my attention,(meaning it was slightly boring and it was a bit strange) but it was a good try and a great blog.
Hi Emma,
You have written a great peice of writing and I wish I could read more. Your last sentence would make anybody feel excited and want to carry on reading.Try not to repeat the same adjectives twice.
I really like your simile ‘he was off like a cheetah in a race’. I love your last sentence and I would like to read more as I have lots of questions that would probably be answered if you continued the story. I wonder who Jim is and why he is chasing Pete and Susie? Is Jim responsible for setting off the fierce bomb?
hi emma,
that was really good i liked your adjetives and your similies.But I would like to know more about Pete and Susie.
wow emma, that was awesome! some of the story din’t keep my attention,(meaning it was slightly boring and it was a bit strange) but it was a good try and a great blog.
casper west, thetherdown primary school
Hi Emma,
You have written a great peice of writing and I wish I could read more. Your last sentence would make anybody feel excited and want to carry on reading.Try not to repeat the same adjectives twice.
I really like your simile ‘he was off like a cheetah in a race’. I love your last sentence and I would like to read more as I have lots of questions that would probably be answered if you continued the story. I wonder who Jim is and why he is chasing Pete and Susie? Is Jim responsible for setting off the fierce bomb?