Oh no, who could be at the door?
Great tenseness in the story, I felt as if I was there. Good description of the hole. I found the bit about the restaraunt humourous. It is good to sneek in a joke. My one critersisume is that Oh dear, I forgot it was a leap year did not realy fit in, so next time read through aloud and check, do you know where I mean? Fab work!
I liked your work because it has a big suspense at the end. Who could have been at the door? I don’t know? This really makes me want to read on! Also, it has lots of other good things in it, like the ball smashing against the window. Well done!
Well done Joel I really liked your use of words maybe you could say “Oh dear, I forgot it was a leap year”?
Oh no, who could be at the door?
Great tenseness in the story, I felt as if I was there. Good description of the hole. I found the bit about the restaraunt humourous. It is good to sneek in a joke. My one critersisume is that Oh dear, I forgot it was a leap year did not realy fit in, so next time read through aloud and check, do you know where I mean? Fab work!
I liked your work because it has a big suspense at the end. Who could have been at the door? I don’t know? This really makes me want to read on! Also, it has lots of other good things in it, like the ball smashing against the window. Well done!