I really enjoyed reading this piece due to the many uses of adjectives.It was a tragic story line and I really felt sorry for the people on board at the time.I love the phrase,Suddenly I lurched forward,sick piling high in my mouth.I also really liked the simily my stomarch churned so much it reminded me of a washing machine.Overall I felt it was a really impressive piece of writing.I can’t wait too read more of your stories.
That really is a boat tragedy Rafi! It really made me feel like I was there, but in real life, I WOULD NOT LIKE TO DIE ON A CRUISE SHIP! However, I didn’t feel like I was dying at the end, as it didn’t add emphasism. Try to show how you died next time.
incredibly amazing had lots of adjectives,perfect nothing to improve on
Hi Rafi,
I think your discription was great especially the first sentence of the second paragraph.
I really enjoyed reading this piece due to the many uses of adjectives.It was a tragic story line and I really felt sorry for the people on board at the time.I love the phrase,Suddenly I lurched forward,sick piling high in my mouth.I also really liked the simily my stomarch churned so much it reminded me of a washing machine.Overall I felt it was a really impressive piece of writing.I can’t wait too read more of your stories.
That really is a boat tragedy Rafi! It really made me feel like I was there, but in real life, I WOULD NOT LIKE TO DIE ON A CRUISE SHIP! However, I didn’t feel like I was dying at the end, as it didn’t add emphasism. Try to show how you died next time.