This is a well thought out story, Alfie. With excitement building, it would be easy to forget those one on four years where there is a leap day. 🙂
One small suggestion, try to remember not to break up the prompt phrase. Your last couple sentences could have read…
“It’s for the…,” I squeaked. “Oh, dear! I forgot it was a leap year.”
I like the way you have used speech in your story. This helps the reader understand what the characters are thinking. 🙂
I hope you continue entering the 1ooWC. You have a talent for telling a good story.
Thanks for joining the 100WC. You build the tension up well, how disappointing to have to wait another day! You use punctuation and vocabulary well. Try starting some of your sentences with a verb to make your sentence openers more interesting.
Hello, Alfie.
This is a well thought out story, Alfie. With excitement building, it would be easy to forget those one on four years where there is a leap day. 🙂
One small suggestion, try to remember not to break up the prompt phrase. Your last couple sentences could have read…
“It’s for the…,” I squeaked. “Oh, dear! I forgot it was a leap year.”
I like the way you have used speech in your story. This helps the reader understand what the characters are thinking. 🙂
I hope you continue entering the 1ooWC. You have a talent for telling a good story.
@RossMannell
Teacher, NSW, Australia
Hi Alfie,
Thanks for joining the 100WC. You build the tension up well, how disappointing to have to wait another day! You use punctuation and vocabulary well. Try starting some of your sentences with a verb to make your sentence openers more interesting.