WOW! Maddy, this is amazing. I love that you have use so many powerful adjectives. My favourite bit was the bit where you said ‘All at once they fell over, not they, the snow the thunderous snow, crashing down like a giant vase breaking into China fragments’.
The only thing I would say you could improve on is the basic punctuation such as capital letters, they are just little mistakes, so check your work.
But overall Well done!
WOW! Maddy, this is amazing. I love that you have use so many powerful adjectives. My favourite bit was the bit where you said ‘All at once they fell over, not they, the snow the thunderous snow, crashing down like a giant vase breaking into China fragments’.
The only thing I would say you could improve on is the basic punctuation such as capital letters, they are just little mistakes, so check your work.
But overall Well done!
I really enjoy your powerful description especially the sentence ‘the snow the thunderous snow’ this is a excellent piece of work Jemima.