Mmmm, I wonder what will happen? What is the one thing the boy could not heal?
I spotted some spelling mistakes: ern should be earn and ment should be meant. Remember to use a dictionary to look up words you are unsure how to spell.
I look forward to reading the next chapter 🙂
I think this is a very good piece of work with some great description, although you must remember your commas other wise it sounds like a never-ending scentence. I would really like a second chapter because I would love to know what the boy can’t heal!
Keep up the good work and I can’t wait to read what you blog next!
I thought your work was splendid and it is clear that you worked really hard. keep up the good work and I will keep my eyes peeled for more of your fabulous work.
From Rafi’s Mum
Hello Anna,
I thought all your adjectives and similes you used were great especially the last sentence. I would love to read the second chapter so please can you publish it soon!
From Rafi’s Dad.
Hello Anna.W
I thought your work was very good but you could have described the flower a bit more. However, apart from that everything was fine and I am glad that Tetherdown is able to see your work!
From Rafi’s Cousin.
Hello Anna.W,
Your work was fabulous and hit the criteria perfectly. The standard of work was amazing! I bet you are one of the best writers in the class. Keep up the great work.
From Rafi’s Granddad.
Hello young Anna,
Your incredible work made my heart shine and fill with proudness. This is because your work has proved a good example on Rafi’s school. Make sure you write a second chapter so that my eyes water like this time.
From Rafi’s Grandma
Hi,
This is really good and I love the way it sounds like an old tale. Remember to use commas and maybe you could try to describe the flower more? This is amazing though. Well done, I’d really like a sequel. 🙂
Has your school entered ‘we are writers’? I think you should ask Ms Cohen about entering, this is good! Next year you should write the 500 word story competition on Radio 2 too, you could win!
Keep up the brilliant work, you make me feel very proud to be
Mmmm, I wonder what will happen? What is the one thing the boy could not heal?
I spotted some spelling mistakes: ern should be earn and ment should be meant. Remember to use a dictionary to look up words you are unsure how to spell.
I look forward to reading the next chapter 🙂
I think this is a very good piece of work with some great description, although you must remember your commas other wise it sounds like a never-ending scentence. I would really like a second chapter because I would love to know what the boy can’t heal!
Keep up the good work and I can’t wait to read what you blog next!
I thought your work was splendid and it is clear that you worked really hard. keep up the good work and I will keep my eyes peeled for more of your fabulous work.
From Rafi’s Mum
Hello Anna,
I thought all your adjectives and similes you used were great especially the last sentence. I would love to read the second chapter so please can you publish it soon!
From Rafi’s Dad.
I thought that the first chapter is amazing so I can’t wait for chapter two.
Hello Anna.W
I thought your work was very good but you could have described the flower a bit more. However, apart from that everything was fine and I am glad that Tetherdown is able to see your work!
From Rafi’s Cousin.
hello anna.w
i thought your writing was good but could be a bit shorter. I liked the simileys.
from rafi’s cousin noah.
Hello Anna.W,
Your work was fabulous and hit the criteria perfectly. The standard of work was amazing! I bet you are one of the best writers in the class. Keep up the great work.
From Rafi’s Granddad.
Hello young Anna,
Your incredible work made my heart shine and fill with proudness. This is because your work has proved a good example on Rafi’s school. Make sure you write a second chapter so that my eyes water like this time.
From Rafi’s Grandma
Hi,
This is really good and I love the way it sounds like an old tale. Remember to use commas and maybe you could try to describe the flower more? This is amazing though. Well done, I’d really like a sequel. 🙂
Has your school entered ‘we are writers’? I think you should ask Ms Cohen about entering, this is good! Next year you should write the 500 word story competition on Radio 2 too, you could win!
Keep up the brilliant work, you make me feel very proud to be
Your ever-loving Aunty
Heather xxx