Hello Freya,
Your writing met the criteria and was definately up to standards. The connectives and adverbs were very good but you could have used a bit more adjectives. Keep up the good work and I hope that other people can I enjoy and read your work like I have!
From Rafi’s Dad.
I like the detail about the beach. But never trust an octopus with a glass of lemonade !!! 😀
When/Where is this set???
I like the description of the ‘marmalade sky’ – very evocative. Maybe the beach was crunchy like toast?
Great story. It really has legs!
Cool story. You used lots of punctuation.
Hello Freya,
What an incredible piece of work you have written. The choice of words were very good so keep up the good work!
From Rafi’s Mum.
Hello Freya,
Your writing met the criteria and was definately up to standards. The connectives and adverbs were very good but you could have used a bit more adjectives. Keep up the good work and I hope that other people can I enjoy and read your work like I have!
From Rafi’s Dad.