Hello Joseph,
I thought your work was very good because:
1. It was very realistic.
2. It was very funny.
3. You used lots of great adjectives, such as: Murmured and complained.
However, remember to start a new line when somebody new is speaking. Overall everything was perfect so make sure you carry on writing on the blog. Well Done! 🙂
I thought your work was really good I thought it was good because:
It was funny and made me chuckle
It had lots of good words instead of said
It was enjoyable
But next time remember when someone else speaks start a new line. Great job!
Hello Joseph,
I thought your work was really good because of the vivid picture it painted in my head. It also was very realistic. I felt sorry for the character about having to go all the way to Waitrose when he was at Tesco. Remember to start a new line when somebody new is speaking. 🙂
From Rafi’s Mum.
Hello Joseph,
I agree with Caroline, Anna and Rafi about your work but you have to remember to start a new line when somebody else is speaking. The connectives and adverbs you have used are good because nobody really uses anymore! 🙁 Keep up the good writing and maybe one day you will become an author.:(
From Rafi’s Dad.
Hello Joseph,
I thought your work was very good because:
1. It was very realistic.
2. It was very funny.
3. You used lots of great adjectives, such as: Murmured and complained.
However, remember to start a new line when somebody new is speaking. Overall everything was perfect so make sure you carry on writing on the blog. Well Done! 🙂
I thought your work was really good I thought it was good because:
It was funny and made me chuckle
It had lots of good words instead of said
It was enjoyable
But next time remember when someone else speaks start a new line. Great job!
Joseph! Remember;
66, 99 new speaker, new line!
This was really well written, I have often felt like doing exactly that in Tesco! I loved the bit about the rarely seen employee,
Aunty Heather xxx
Hello Joseph,
I thought your work was really good because of the vivid picture it painted in my head. It also was very realistic. I felt sorry for the character about having to go all the way to Waitrose when he was at Tesco. Remember to start a new line when somebody new is speaking. 🙂
From Rafi’s Mum.
Hello Joseph,
I agree with Caroline, Anna and Rafi about your work but you have to remember to start a new line when somebody else is speaking. The connectives and adverbs you have used are good because nobody really uses anymore! 🙁 Keep up the good writing and maybe one day you will become an author.:(
From Rafi’s Dad.
Hello Joseph. Your work was very good and deserved to be on the blog. I liked all the speech and the Tesco bit was funny.
From Rafi’s Brother.
I thought it was very good because you used very strong words like ,yelled,
well done keep on blogging some more good storys
Joseph,
I really liked your story it was fablious
I really liked the speech you used.
I can’t wait to read more of your brilliant
Story’s.