Great job Merely I would never have thought of a stoy line like that.Really good description when you said “she rushed down the muddy creaking wooden steps…”.Was that the 100 word challenge?What gave you inspiration for your story line?
Thanks elena for looking at my work! That sentence which you wrote down, was not in the 100 word challenge Ijust thought it gave a good description.I gave it that story line because the girl (in paris) had her best birthday ever and it was really fun.
Exciting piece of work Merley, I love your brilliant description. What made you decide to write this story? Your puntuation could have been alot better. Are you going to carry on this story i’d love to read more!
Alice
Thanks alice for saying my work was good ! Well I had had to write somthing about somone being in paris and somone having her birthday so I decided to do this sort of story. Thanks for repling!
Hello Merley,
I thought your work was really good but you missed out quite a lot of commas. Also, when you use brackets, remember to keep the full stops outside of them. Apart from that I thought your work was very exciting made me want to read on.
From Rafi.
Merley
Great imagenation it really created a picture in my mind. Very descriptive but you missed some commas matbe next time read it through before you post it? Anyway great work
Amazing! I love the way you used so many similes and wonderful adjectives! How did you do it? Here is a good question for you. Who is Jessie J and what is Price Tag? Please could you research on something like wikipedia so you could comment on me and tell me the answer. I will write a blog about singing, as I at least know that she is a singer, and you could comment on me. Keep it up!
Great job Merely I would never have thought of a stoy line like that.Really good description when you said “she rushed down the muddy creaking wooden steps…”.Was that the 100 word challenge?What gave you inspiration for your story line?
Thanks elena for looking at my work! That sentence which you wrote down, was not in the 100 word challenge Ijust thought it gave a good description.I gave it that story line because the girl (in paris) had her best birthday ever and it was really fun.
Exciting piece of work Merley, I love your brilliant description. What made you decide to write this story? Your puntuation could have been alot better. Are you going to carry on this story i’d love to read more!
Alice
Thanks alice for saying my work was good ! Well I had had to write somthing about somone being in paris and somone having her birthday so I decided to do this sort of story. Thanks for repling!
Hello Merley,
I thought your work was really good but you missed out quite a lot of commas. Also, when you use brackets, remember to keep the full stops outside of them. Apart from that I thought your work was very exciting made me want to read on.
From Rafi.
Thanks for reminding me to use my commas! And thanks for repling and saying my work was good!
It was a really great story. I loved your description. you have missed some commas out but I would love to read on.
Thanks Aaima for repling and saying youb loved my description! Next time I will use my commas, dont you worry.
I loved it Merley but remmember to use those commas .
Thanks laila for saying you loved my work, and by the way Im starting to use my commas much better now!
Merley
Great imagenation it really created a picture in my mind. Very descriptive but you missed some commas matbe next time read it through before you post it? Anyway great work
Anna W
Thanks Anna W for saying you liked my work. I love yours to!Next time I will read through before I send it out!
Wow Merley your writting was amazing I really liked the part were you Said “her head was so tiny”. I didn’t really think you could emprove.
Thanks Armelle for saying my work was really good! Thanks for saying you liked that part when I wrote” her head was so tiny!”
Loved it.
So do I
Thanks anna for saying you loved it to. Cant wait to see yours!
Thanks Ida for saying you loved it!
I love your story. (I can’t wait for my birthday now!) Were did you get all your Ideas from?
Thanks ella for saying you loved it! I got the ideas from me sort of because thats what normaly happens to me on my birthday when I wake up!
Amazing! I love the way you used so many similes and wonderful adjectives! How did you do it? Here is a good question for you. Who is Jessie J and what is Price Tag? Please could you research on something like wikipedia so you could comment on me and tell me the answer. I will write a blog about singing, as I at least know that she is a singer, and you could comment on me. Keep it up!