Elena,
I thought your description was superb, it allowed you to picture it like you were there. Perhaps you could of made the ending a little more exciting because you rushed it a bit.
Your work is so inspiring, I love you great description. It makes me want to be there! I don’t really get line 6 you could make sure it makes sense. Are you going to carry on your story? It was amazing!
Wow Alice thats really nice of you to say so.Iget why you didn’t understand line 6.I’ve been thinking that I might carry it on, but I’ve just not had time to get round to it. Thank you.
Hi Elena
I really enjoyed reading your work. It made me want to go to Paris right away but I will have to wait for the summer. Are you going to carry on the story as I what to find out what happends the next day. Great description but I think you need to check your punctuation. Near the end you wrote “bed.After” and also didn’t use a capital for I.
Elena thats really good! You definetley put lots of efort into it! Why did you decide her to be in a beach? Just remember to put capital “I” in your sentences. But anyway well done!
Elena,
I thought your description was superb, it allowed you to picture it like you were there. Perhaps you could of made the ending a little more exciting because you rushed it a bit.
Thank you so much Mia. Your right I did rush it,and I probally could make the ending more interesting.
Your work is so inspiring, I love you great description. It makes me want to be there! I don’t really get line 6 you could make sure it makes sense. Are you going to carry on your story? It was amazing!
Wow Alice thats really nice of you to say so.Iget why you didn’t understand line 6.I’ve been thinking that I might carry it on, but I’ve just not had time to get round to it. Thank you.
Wow amazing work Elena . On line 5 you need to remmember capital I ‘s but other than that well done good stuff.
Hi Elena
I really enjoyed reading your work. It made me want to go to Paris right away but I will have to wait for the summer. Are you going to carry on the story as I what to find out what happends the next day. Great description but I think you need to check your punctuation. Near the end you wrote “bed.After” and also didn’t use a capital for I.
I realy liked the discription and similies used but you could improve on your puntuation such as commas.
I loved your descriptoin and I cant wate to here what happens next however you nead to check your puntuation.
Elena thats really good! You definetley put lots of efort into it! Why did you decide her to be in a beach? Just remember to put capital “I” in your sentences. But anyway well done!
Very good start. Good description. What could happen next?