Hello, I enjoyed reading about your dragon and his chocolate chip rock cakes! I thought it was creative and made sense. I am thinking that you should maybe use some description on the ingrediants (ie. the cracked eggs, the soft sugar, the creamy butter etc.). I laughed at the thought of the fire brigade giving a dragon a visit; he must get alot of visits, maybe you could have added that… The decription about the dragons hands! maybe you could use some connectives. Again, I thought it was a great piece so keep it up
Hi. I really enjoyed the humour in your post. I am excited to read on. The only thing I found you could improve on is use the word ‘it’ less, for example you say ‘The cake was as hard as a boulder.
Hi Jessica, I have just read your post and have had my socks blown of. I love dragons ,and reading about them, so this is the most wonderful story for me. You used the cliffhanger really effectively and I loved all the description, but especially the description scaly, red palms and the simile hard as a boulder. I can’t wait to read your next post.
I really enjoyed your 100WC entry this week – I jut love the image of the dragon rolling the mixture in his scaly red hands, and thought that having him cook them by breathing fire was a very funny and creative idea! Keep up the great work.
Hi Jess
I liked the way you used the word stirred it was very creative.
Why didn’t the dragon give the cookies to the fire brigade?
Maybe you could discribe the dragon a bit more.
Also you didn’t use the opening speech marks when the dragon said ‘Perfect’
But overall it was brilliant!
Well done Jessica, this is a really lovely idea for the prompt you were given. You have chosen some great words and I really like that the dragon cooked the cakes himself, even if the fire brigade did have an unexpected call out! Keep up the great work!
Hello, I enjoyed reading about your dragon and his chocolate chip rock cakes! I thought it was creative and made sense. I am thinking that you should maybe use some description on the ingrediants (ie. the cracked eggs, the soft sugar, the creamy butter etc.). I laughed at the thought of the fire brigade giving a dragon a visit; he must get alot of visits, maybe you could have added that… The decription about the dragons hands! maybe you could use some connectives. Again, I thought it was a great piece so keep it up
Hi. I really enjoyed the humour in your post. I am excited to read on. The only thing I found you could improve on is use the word ‘it’ less, for example you say ‘The cake was as hard as a boulder.
Hi Jessica, I have just read your post and have had my socks blown of. I love dragons ,and reading about them, so this is the most wonderful story for me. You used the cliffhanger really effectively and I loved all the description, but especially the description scaly, red palms and the simile hard as a boulder. I can’t wait to read your next post.
Hi Jessica
I really enjoyed your 100WC entry this week – I jut love the image of the dragon rolling the mixture in his scaly red hands, and thought that having him cook them by breathing fire was a very funny and creative idea! Keep up the great work.
Hi Jess
I liked the way you used the word stirred it was very creative.
Why didn’t the dragon give the cookies to the fire brigade?
Maybe you could discribe the dragon a bit more.
Also you didn’t use the opening speech marks when the dragon said ‘Perfect’
But overall it was brilliant!
Well done Jessica, this is a really lovely idea for the prompt you were given. You have chosen some great words and I really like that the dragon cooked the cakes himself, even if the fire brigade did have an unexpected call out! Keep up the great work!