Hello.I liked your description, it painted a good picture in my head. It has a good story line and I found it facinating and I wanted to read on. You could give more description on how the young knight killed the dragon. You had a spelling mistake on the 10th line, instead of writing ‘his’ you wrote ‘hi’.
Hello Alfie,
I enjoyed reading your small text on the Dragon of Athenea. The beginning caught my eye when you told the reader that there was a myth – it really caught my attention! However, I did find it slightly difficult to read sometimes because of your punctuation problems. I really enjoyed reading it though. Well done!!
I really like this post. It has powerful description , as you desribe the village being a dull and cold place where no one belives in myths or legends. It also fits the the 100 words target quite neatly. Well done for that! To improve if you edit , add in some commas to break it up a bit. Apart from that it is a great story!
The begining of this 100 word writing really caught my attention. You kept it short and sweet whilst still including describtive languge e.g swoop FREELY and OlD POOR village. Good use of puncutuation. Nice picture although my only negative thought is that the image covers some writting. Over all i think you did a good job of very nearly compling the task of 100 words. Well done!!
Hello.I liked your description, it painted a good picture in my head. It has a good story line and I found it facinating and I wanted to read on. You could give more description on how the young knight killed the dragon. You had a spelling mistake on the 10th line, instead of writing ‘his’ you wrote ‘hi’.
The writing is my style and it is very mythical, but Athenea is a Greek god of wisdom and battel tactiecs an the bit at the end has a tipo.
Archie
Hello Alfie,
I enjoyed reading your small text on the Dragon of Athenea. The beginning caught my eye when you told the reader that there was a myth – it really caught my attention! However, I did find it slightly difficult to read sometimes because of your punctuation problems. I really enjoyed reading it though. Well done!!
I really like this post. It has powerful description , as you desribe the village being a dull and cold place where no one belives in myths or legends. It also fits the the 100 words target quite neatly. Well done for that! To improve if you edit , add in some commas to break it up a bit. Apart from that it is a great story!
The begining of this 100 word writing really caught my attention. You kept it short and sweet whilst still including describtive languge e.g swoop FREELY and OlD POOR village. Good use of puncutuation. Nice picture although my only negative thought is that the image covers some writting. Over all i think you did a good job of very nearly compling the task of 100 words. Well done!!