Hi Grace. It was a really good piece of writing! You built good imagery in my head, and the ending made me want to read on! If you were to edit yours, you could improve your punctuation, for example there unnecessary hyphens.
Well Done!!
Hi, I thought that is a very imaginative piece of work! I absolutely adored the idea of a dragon eating a fair maiden each day. That made me chuckle! I liked the description at the beginning; that was clever. I didn’t quite understand the second paragraph. Was George a boy, man or dragon? If he was a boy or man was he sacrificing himself? That i thought could improve on but otherwise it was brilliant!
Hi there everyone,
First may I thank you for the barrage of comments (8). I have taken in what you have said and I will try to answer all your questions:
George is a man and he wasn’t sacrificing himself. He was trying to kill the dragon so the princess would not have to sacrifice herself. Secondly Isabel, I could maybe to a sequel t to this one but I could not do more than 100 words in this post.
For the rest of you I agree that I have made a few grammer mistakes and I have changed tenses a bit. I’ll try to work on it. I hope that helps. If you want to know more then go to the news page and read the story. Happy blogging!
Your story was very gripping, and you set the scene really well. The description was amazing, and I can’t wait to read more of your stories in the future. I think you could have made the story a bit longer, as I wanted to read about what was going to happen when George got into the cave with the dragon. Did he get eaten straight away? Or did something magical happen?
Hi Grace,
WOW!!!! This is amazing! I love the description of the wall. The word George caught my attention because I understood that you were doing the story of George and the dragon. There are a few punctuation problems but other than that it was absolutely amazing! I can not wait to read on! Well done!
WOW!!! I love your description,and I really like the way you have left the story on a cliff-hanger. Try to include punctuation in the right place. Great work.
wow grace
That was very exciting and discreptive and thrilling all at the same time it was really good but i think you should add more to when enters the cave
I love the use of colour and the way the blue and the white really go well together.
You have 199 words which is not to much writing nor not to little. I can imagine it well!
Maybe more punctuation could be used to make it easier to read.
Hi Grace , this story caught my eye while I was scrolling down the page. The desription is amazing, you use some in almost every sentence. The short phrases at the end give a very dramatic effect. I am so engaged, I really want to know whether George defeats this dragon!
To improve , remember to keep the same tense ( so either past or present) and add in some commas to break up the story. I hope to see more of your work soon. Well done!
Hi Grace. It was a really good piece of writing! You built good imagery in my head, and the ending made me want to read on! If you were to edit yours, you could improve your punctuation, for example there unnecessary hyphens.
Well Done!!
Hi, I thought that is a very imaginative piece of work! I absolutely adored the idea of a dragon eating a fair maiden each day. That made me chuckle! I liked the description at the beginning; that was clever. I didn’t quite understand the second paragraph. Was George a boy, man or dragon? If he was a boy or man was he sacrificing himself? That i thought could improve on but otherwise it was brilliant!
Hi there everyone,
First may I thank you for the barrage of comments (8). I have taken in what you have said and I will try to answer all your questions:
George is a man and he wasn’t sacrificing himself. He was trying to kill the dragon so the princess would not have to sacrifice herself. Secondly Isabel, I could maybe to a sequel t to this one but I could not do more than 100 words in this post.
For the rest of you I agree that I have made a few grammer mistakes and I have changed tenses a bit. I’ll try to work on it. I hope that helps. If you want to know more then go to the news page and read the story. Happy blogging!
Your story was very gripping, and you set the scene really well. The description was amazing, and I can’t wait to read more of your stories in the future. I think you could have made the story a bit longer, as I wanted to read about what was going to happen when George got into the cave with the dragon. Did he get eaten straight away? Or did something magical happen?
Hi Grace,
WOW!!!! This is amazing! I love the description of the wall. The word George caught my attention because I understood that you were doing the story of George and the dragon. There are a few punctuation problems but other than that it was absolutely amazing! I can not wait to read on! Well done!
WOW!!! I love your description,and I really like the way you have left the story on a cliff-hanger. Try to include punctuation in the right place. Great work.
wow grace
That was very exciting and discreptive and thrilling all at the same time it was really good but i think you should add more to when enters the cave
I love the use of colour and the way the blue and the white really go well together.
You have 199 words which is not to much writing nor not to little. I can imagine it well!
Maybe more punctuation could be used to make it easier to read.
Hi Grace , this story caught my eye while I was scrolling down the page. The desription is amazing, you use some in almost every sentence. The short phrases at the end give a very dramatic effect. I am so engaged, I really want to know whether George defeats this dragon!
To improve , remember to keep the same tense ( so either past or present) and add in some commas to break up the story. I hope to see more of your work soon. Well done!