Thank you for highlighting the prompt words in blue. They are very easy to find.
I enjoyed reading your story. I like the way you directed the story so all of the prompt words could be included. I most certainly would have liked to see Eden’s sister’s bird you described. We have many beautiful parrots here in Australia but none as you’ve described. Well done.
If I can make a suggestion, there might have been one or two places where you might have taken a new sentence instead of using a comma. It can be hard at times to decide. I know I have often questioned sentence beginnings in my writing.
I hope you keep entering the 100WC. I think you have some good creative writing ideas to share. 🙂
Wow! I really enjoyed that. I didn’t know Eden had a sister! I particularly liked the idea of a sound proofed room…we certainly need one in our house , eh?!
Hello Theo,
Thank you for highlighting the prompt words in blue. They are very easy to find.
I enjoyed reading your story. I like the way you directed the story so all of the prompt words could be included. I most certainly would have liked to see Eden’s sister’s bird you described. We have many beautiful parrots here in Australia but none as you’ve described. Well done.
If I can make a suggestion, there might have been one or two places where you might have taken a new sentence instead of using a comma. It can be hard at times to decide. I know I have often questioned sentence beginnings in my writing.
I hope you keep entering the 100WC. I think you have some good creative writing ideas to share. 🙂
@RossMannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher, NSW, Australia
Wow! I really enjoyed that. I didn’t know Eden had a sister! I particularly liked the idea of a sound proofed room…we certainly need one in our house , eh?!