I am Ray from shrewsbury school Bangkok Thailand. I really like the
ending it makes me think about what animal it is. This is what you should improve on
making it 100 WC or maybe i was counting wrong and adding more describing words. These are
the things you should add, you could describe the dragon and the settings thats all.
Hi Alex,
I really liked how you used loads of great adjectives to describe the scene, setting and area. However, to make your writing perfect you will need to include similes. Apart from that everything was fine and I am glad to see you are enjoying the blog as much as us.
From Rafi in Y5 Fleming.
Hi Alex
We love your description. It was very imaginative. Please remember your speech marks and a new line for a new person talking.
Mrs Southall and Morpurgo class
Hi Alex,
I like it as it has many intresting words in and it makes you want to read more, but i was hoping you would describe the griffin beacause griffins are truly wonderful creatures.
From Charlie
hi Alex! I thought your writing was great , it makes me want to read on! you used lots of adjectives . can you try and describe the griffin next time? I hope you scribe another piece of writing . from madison
Very, very good that I want to read on. Maybe next time you could describe the Griffin. I really wish it was 200 so i can here more!
I loved how you used imageination
Dear Alex
I am Ray from shrewsbury school Bangkok Thailand. I really like the
ending it makes me think about what animal it is. This is what you should improve on
making it 100 WC or maybe i was counting wrong and adding more describing words. These are
the things you should add, you could describe the dragon and the settings thats all.
Best regards
Ray
Hi Alex,
I really liked how you used loads of great adjectives to describe the scene, setting and area. However, to make your writing perfect you will need to include similes. Apart from that everything was fine and I am glad to see you are enjoying the blog as much as us.
From Rafi in Y5 Fleming.
Hi Alex
We love your description. It was very imaginative. Please remember your speech marks and a new line for a new person talking.
Mrs Southall and Morpurgo class
Hi Alex
It’s really good and your dicription was great.
Hi Alex,
could you leave another post and continue the story?
Isabella
Hi Alex,
I like it as it has many intresting words in and it makes you want to read more, but i was hoping you would describe the griffin beacause griffins are truly wonderful creatures.
From Charlie
Hi Alex
I like it very mutch but I was hoping that you would describe the Griffen though also what is the anwser to the riddle
Brilliant! try to describe the griffin like Lauren said
P.S.Try to do a sequel I think it’s awsome
From Ben in your class
hi alex Iliked that because you described the vocie of the griffin well but next time try and describe what he looked like .
hi Alex! I thought your writing was great , it makes me want to read on! you used lots of adjectives . can you try and describe the griffin next time? I hope you scribe another piece of writing . from madison