Hi Raphael,
I thought your work was excellent because of the really good story line it was based upon. I also loved the way you made it clear to the reader what was your proper poem and what was the add on bits. However, there were a couple of mistakes:
1. In poems, usually you start a new line with a capital letter.
2. You forgot some of the basic punctuation such as: Full stops and commas.
3. You used the word TV quite a lot of times, so maybe you could find another word for it.
Apart from that, everything was fine so keep up the good work and carry on blogging. 🙂
Hi Raphael,
I thought your work was excellent because of the really good story line it was based upon. I also loved the way you made it clear to the reader what was your proper poem and what was the add on bits. However, there were a couple of mistakes:
1. In poems, usually you start a new line with a capital letter.
2. You forgot some of the basic punctuation such as: Full stops and commas.
3. You used the word TV quite a lot of times, so maybe you could find another word for it.
Apart from that, everything was fine so keep up the good work and carry on blogging. 🙂