Hi Thomas.
I really enjoyed reading your peice of writing, and the storyline is very interesting.
By the way it is ‘Pit Bull’- you accidentally wrote ‘Pit Ball’. Maybe next time you could describe how you felt. Also you forgot a capital letter where it says ‘POW’- you should have put an exclamation mark and then a capital letter.
I love the way youdescribed the way the saliva was dripping own the dogs chin.
Isabella
Hi Tom
Loved the story it made me laugh but I don’t get the bit at the end where he “exploded the chicken” anyway apart from that i really liked it because as I said to Daniel I think one of the key things in a story is humor and youve ceartily got that!
From your pal
Charlie
Hi Thomas,
That was a really cool post, the things that stand out for me are you have a roast on Friday because I normally have a roast on Sunday. I also endjoyed when you mentioned saliva coming out from it’s mouth. Maybe you could have said there was a chicken because it takes a minute to work it out. Good work!
From Ava
Hi Thomas,
I like your Idea ,and the description is great.
One thing to improve is where did the chicken come from?
Eusebi
Hi Thomas.
I really enjoyed reading your peice of writing, and the storyline is very interesting.
By the way it is ‘Pit Bull’- you accidentally wrote ‘Pit Ball’. Maybe next time you could describe how you felt. Also you forgot a capital letter where it says ‘POW’- you should have put an exclamation mark and then a capital letter.
I love the way youdescribed the way the saliva was dripping own the dogs chin.
Isabella
Hi Tom
Loved the story it made me laugh but I don’t get the bit at the end where he “exploded the chicken” anyway apart from that i really liked it because as I said to Daniel I think one of the key things in a story is humor and youve ceartily got that!
From your pal
Charlie
Hi Thomas,
That was a really cool post, the things that stand out for me are you have a roast on Friday because I normally have a roast on Sunday. I also endjoyed when you mentioned saliva coming out from it’s mouth. Maybe you could have said there was a chicken because it takes a minute to work it out. Good work!
From Ava
Hi Thomas,
great discription of the dog but you could do a bit more description