Hi Daniel
reallly like your story because it has lots of diolage and thats something I like about it. Also it is funny and taht is also a major thing for me but you could add a little more description e.g ther was a loud, unexpected thump.
see what I mean? Anyway hope you write some more fantastic storys like this.
from your pal
Charlie
Hi Daniel,
That was a really good post I like how instead of a knock at the door you put a crash in your roof , well done on using your speach marks and you put some humour in it when mum and dad where talking about about calling “999”. Well done maybe you can put another one about them breaking out of jail. I liked your blog!
From Ava
Hi Daniel,
I loved how you made it funny by dad’s phone got stolen. Try to use more adjectives in your writing and you will be fine.
Hi Daniel
reallly like your story because it has lots of diolage and thats something I like about it. Also it is funny and taht is also a major thing for me but you could add a little more description e.g ther was a loud, unexpected thump.
see what I mean? Anyway hope you write some more fantastic storys like this.
from your pal
Charlie
Hi Daniel,
That was a really good post I like how instead of a knock at the door you put a crash in your roof , well done on using your speach marks and you put some humour in it when mum and dad where talking about about calling “999”. Well done maybe you can put another one about them breaking out of jail. I liked your blog!
From Ava
Hi Daniel,
I realy like your peice of work because it is funny. Next time remember that you can use other words than ‘said’.
from Rosie