Hi Michael,
That was a very good piece of work and
very creative. Unlike many other people, you
described the man locking on the glasses. Next
time try and remember your comers.
Well done!
Hi Michael,
I love the simile :
‘ the candy floss tasted like a thousand strawberry gob stoppers.’
But next time you could add a metaphor or personification, e.g. The little glasses of lemonade called out ” Drink me! ” .
I rely like it. Brilant descriptshon and it tells me all there feelings. What did the candy floss smell of ? Say wat it smelles like. Don’t stop making brilant work. WELL DONE !!!!!!!!!!
Hi,
I really like your work because you used great discribing words like jolly,
I also like the way you used a paragraph
But next time you do a blog try to include more simelies.
I enjoyed reading your piece of work because you used very exiting adjectives, but at the in the first sentence there nedds to be a capital letter and full stop.
This is a great piece of work Michael, keep it up!
Hi Michael,
I love your description of the glasses and I could imagine them very well. You could improve by not just saying and all the time and use a different word.
Your plot is great and you described stuff well. But next time you should maybe tell us more about the Emerald City.
Hi Michael,
That was a very good piece of work and
very creative. Unlike many other people, you
described the man locking on the glasses. Next
time try and remember your comers.
Well done!
Hi Michel,
great piece of amazing interesting work.
I really like the part about the glasses
great work congratulations!!!
Hi Michael,
I love the simile :
‘ the candy floss tasted like a thousand strawberry gob stoppers.’
But next time you could add a metaphor or personification, e.g. The little glasses of lemonade called out ” Drink me! ” .
I rely like it. Brilant descriptshon and it tells me all there feelings. What did the candy floss smell of ? Say wat it smelles like. Don’t stop making brilant work. WELL DONE !!!!!!!!!!
Michael, great piece of work. My only problem is the missing commas, but anyway it is all good.
Hi,
I really like your work because you used great discribing words like jolly,
I also like the way you used a paragraph
But next time you do a blog try to include more simelies.
Hi Michael,
I enjoyed reading your piece of work because you used very exiting adjectives, but at the in the first sentence there nedds to be a capital letter and full stop.
This is a great piece of work Michael, keep it up!
Hugo
Hi Michael,
I love your description of the glasses and I could imagine them very well. You could improve by not just saying and all the time and use a different word.
Hi Michael,
Fantastic description but I think you could use more punctuation – your first paragraph was one long sentence!