Hi Louis
I liked your description of ‘sea green city’ because it gives me a clear picture of what the emerald city looks like(which is bright green)! Your writing was intriguing and made me feel like I was there smelling the smells and tasting the tastes. Also the fact you included that the city could make you blind implies that it is very bright. But why did you put a comma after ‘dazzling bright’? It would also sound good if you included some similies.
From Ben P.
Hi Louis
I liked your description of ‘sea green city’ because it gives me a clear picture of what the emerald city looks like(which is bright green)! Your writing was intriguing and made me feel like I was there smelling the smells and tasting the tastes. Also the fact you included that the city could make you blind implies that it is very bright. But why did you put a comma after ‘dazzling bright’? It would also sound good if you included some similies.
From Ben P.
Hi Louis
I liked your description but remember not to add too many different shades of green.
Hi Louis H,
I liked your opening of the description, and I like that you used 2 of the senses like you can smell the popcorn.
from Julius