To Louis H,
That was a really good piece of writing . I liked how you described the man who had a french moustache. You could improve on your grammar because when one of your characters spoke it didn’t begin with a capital letter. Well Done! Good work I hope we see more work like that. I like how you left it as a cliff hanger.
Ava
Hi Louis, I love your piece of work. You gave your story a great structure. The suprise is a really clever. I really like when you wrote Brad ancwered in a ruthless voice. You ended your story brilliantly. So keep it up! My only improvement is that maby you could use figurative languige a bit more. Other than that your story is great.
To Louis H,
That was a really good piece of writing . I liked how you described the man who had a french moustache. You could improve on your grammar because when one of your characters spoke it didn’t begin with a capital letter. Well Done! Good work I hope we see more work like that. I like how you left it as a cliff hanger.
Ava
hi Louis H
I really like the set out of your writing.
Jackson
Hi Louis
I love the way you said the defeaning doorbell but put more describing words and good verbs.
Hi Louis, I love your piece of work. You gave your story a great structure. The suprise is a really clever. I really like when you wrote Brad ancwered in a ruthless voice. You ended your story brilliantly. So keep it up! My only improvement is that maby you could use figurative languige a bit more. Other than that your story is great.