Hi Ava,
I realy like your character Sunny’s dream, it sounds lovely. Next time add some connectives and some more commas like ‘Sunny loved birthdays, not just for the presents but also for being surounded by her friends.’
Keep up the good work,
Rosie
Hi Ava
I really like the way you made your work sound real then said that it was all a dream. Well done for using speech then not using the word said
From Maddie
What a lovely dream, pity it had to end.
Well done for using speech marks correctly and choosing more adventurous words than said.
Keep up the good work 🙂
Hi Ava,
I realy like your character Sunny’s dream, it sounds lovely. Next time add some connectives and some more commas like ‘Sunny loved birthdays, not just for the presents but also for being surounded by her friends.’
Keep up the good work,
Rosie
Hi Ava
I really like the way you made your work sound real then said that it was all a dream. Well done for using speech then not using the word said
From Maddie
What a lovely dream, pity it had to end.
Well done for using speech marks correctly and choosing more adventurous words than said.
Keep up the good work 🙂
Hi Ava
I love your story.That was a nice dream I have to say.