This story is amazing. You were born to be an author and you set the picture in my head. The only way I can think to improve of this is to look at the last, line it dosen’t really make sense.
Hi Imogen,
Thanks for your 100 word challenge entry. You certainly succeeded in demonstrating your frustration with your younger brother and sister. I know they can be annoying but with all that shouting and screaming going on you lost out in the end since your friend’s went home. Wouldn’t it just have been easier to let them play?
Hi Imogen
What an explosive and powerful 100WC. It certainly sounds like you were not very happy! It is great that you have used speech in your writing – just remember they are like sentences and need capital letters at the beginning. Try and get someone to proof read your work next time as often when you are engrossed in writing you can make mistakes and then your writing doesn’t make sense. However, this is a good piece of writing that just needs a bit of tweaking.
This story is amazing. You were born to be an author and you set the picture in my head. The only way I can think to improve of this is to look at the last, line it dosen’t really make sense.
Great story! I really liked it, great job incorporating the challenge into this story!
Good job! I liked the way you put the challenge in the story.
Hi Imogen,
Thanks for your 100 word challenge entry. You certainly succeeded in demonstrating your frustration with your younger brother and sister. I know they can be annoying but with all that shouting and screaming going on you lost out in the end since your friend’s went home. Wouldn’t it just have been easier to let them play?
Sorry – “friend’s” above should be without the apostrophe – ie friends.
Hi Imogen
What an explosive and powerful 100WC. It certainly sounds like you were not very happy! It is great that you have used speech in your writing – just remember they are like sentences and need capital letters at the beginning. Try and get someone to proof read your work next time as often when you are engrossed in writing you can make mistakes and then your writing doesn’t make sense. However, this is a good piece of writing that just needs a bit of tweaking.